Update on personal life

saying goodbye to my Princess, Marvel

It breaks my heart to write this post. I suppose it's not necessary, but I wanted to explain why not much has happened on my website.

In short, my baby Marvel, passed away and I lost all motivation to do anything work related.

If you are an animal lover, or a caring person, feel free to read on about my heart break.

Life took a hard turn as I watched Marvel's health decline. Marvel was my beloved Princess who I had for 10 wonderful, long years. Though, looking back, it felt like a matter of a few months.

The vets didn't know what was wrong with her. They assumed there was cancer, but couldn't find it.
So I watched her lose weight and lose her strength. But I enjoyed her presence and clung to her as tightly as I could. I cherished every "meow" she would give me. Even though her meows were half as loud as they typically would be. She was beautiful and happy until the end. I had to assist her with cleaning her fur, she was too weak to do it. But I gladly did everything I could to make sure she was comfortable.

[This picture to my left is her sitting on my camera bag. Even as a baby, she loved sitting on my camera bags. She supported mommy.]

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God answered my prayers and allowed me to hold her the entire night as she passed.

She meowed one last time and I felt as if that was her spirit leaving her body. After that, I wanted for her body to shut down. We had a beautiful funeral for her. I played our song by Guns N' Roses "Sweet child  O' Mine" because I would often sing those lyrics to her.

All through the night while holding Marvel, I played Haley Reinhart's version of "Can't Help Falling In Love".
It was perfect and soothing. The lyrics matched our relationship perfectly. I felt as though Marvel filled every part of my heart and my life. To hold her knowing that every minute that passed meant I was getting closer to losing her, killed me. I couldn't stop time from moving. And I couldn't stop her body from shutting down. I wept and cried and couldn't sleep. But I felt her heart beat against mine. I took pictures, and I thanked God for my baby. I remembered so many special things that we did. Milestones in my life that I went through and had her to share it with.

My heart was so full of gratitude and was broken into a million pieces all at once.

Because of my grief, I lost so much motivation to do anything. For many nights, I simply watched TV.

I would work on my website while she was near me, and I cherished those moments. Because I knew one day, I would be working and she would not be there beside me anymore.

I still cry and grieve over my baby. I miss her deeply. But I have found the push to resume working and pursuing my goals. She has inspired me to write music and to create art. I know losing a pet happens, but this was the first time for me to lose a baby that I had for 10 years.

So while I have been silent, I am still working and striving towards my goals.
It's just with less company.

Thank you for reading a broken hearts thoughts,
-Lady

Marvel loved Christmas time.
Sleeping under the tree, looking up at the lights, hiding in the presents, and even watching the Yule Log on Hallmark Channel.
Marvel also would play in the tissue and wrapping paper as I wrapped gifts. Or unwrapped them on Christmas day. She always, always, always LOVED boxes. "If I fit, I sit" is what we would say. So Christmas day, her gift was exploring all the boxes we had left over.
I'm going to miss her deeply, this Christmas.

Our last Christmas together. I just didn't know it, at the time.

To my left, Marvel sees something that has sparked her curiosity. Behind her, I was in the process of rendering a wedding film. I loved when she sat close to my work station. Sometimes right in front of me. It felt as though she supported me. Or, perhaps just wanted to be close. Either way, I was always happy to have her company.

Goodbye to my Princess.
Mommy loves you and misses you terribly.